Avatar

I haven’t seen the new James Cameron film. Frankly, I’m afraid I might get motion sick with 3D glasses. (I was so nauseous at Rachel Getting Married because of the cinéma vérité shaky camera work I asked for a refund.) But the trailers and reviews tell the story a person who has disabilities finding freedom in the body of an avatar.

I liked the concept of avatars when I first heard Constance Steinkuhler’s presentation on her anthropological study of Massively Multiplayer Online Games (MMOGs). I had a newfound respect for gaming and the learning outcomes she identified. Plus her avatar in the game she studied looked like she was kicking ass and taking names à la Xena Princess Warrior. But the thing about Constance is she’s much cooler in person than any avatar. I met her briefly at a Metronet presentation in St. Paul, MN and heard her speak again at the Games Learning and Society Conference in Madision, WI in 2007. She is confident, intelligent, well-spoken, and interesting.

I’ve been thinking about identity and self a lot lately.  We (in social media circles) talk about personal branding and I think about how I portray myself online or even at professional events.  In the world of social media we cultivate online identities. Some of us have Second Lives or Miis.  As for my online identity, I edit my words, carefully select photos, and worry about an unflattering video.

On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog. And somedays I’d like to have size 6 feet or weigh 120 lbs or I wish I had long blonde hair or blemish free skin. Somedays I wish I could be famously stylish like Michelle Obama or Jacqueline Kennedy. Somedays I wish I had fame or fame by proxy or that I had a huge trust fund. Many days, I avoid the unflattering photo where I am laughing unabashedly or don’t trust myself to post something others may not like.

These days I don’t want an avatar or a created identity. I don’t want to be larger than life or quasi-famous. I want to be authentic.  Today, I like who I am and where I am.